I thought I was pretty down-with-the-kids back when I learnt what FOMO was. Then recently, I was introduced to JOMO, the joy of missing out, just in time for lockdown.
One thing I’m not missing out on is a whole new set of jargon – from furloughing to social distancing and flattening curves (which is a contradiction in terms – I stay at home to flatten the curve, but I can assure you: self-isolation + well stocked cupboards ≠ flattening curves).
Even saying COVID-19 makes me feel like I’m in a spy thriller. Fortunately, I had learnt what COBRA means by the skin of my teeth, thanks to bingeing the new Sky series (it’s brilliant by the way) back before binge-watching was my majority pastime.
My point? It’s our routine and habits – at work, home, socially and linguistically – that ground us, yet they’ve all been thrown up in the air and we haven’t really had any say in it. ‘You do you’ trends on social, and I buy it too, but how can ‘you do you’ within tight parameters beyond your control?
In my professional life, I’m a terrible nag about insight. Why are we recommending this? Who are we talking to? What are they interested in? What’s worked well? How can we use that information to make it better next time?
To wrap my head around our current situation, I decided I needed some insight from an expert. Fortunately, I was able to track down Richard Tyler, a friend, behavioural psychologist and author of Jolt amongst other things (look him up, you won’t regret it).
My question was simple (not): What’s happening to the world and the people in it and how do we get through it? Our professional and personal lives are more interwoven than ever, so we need to understand our new context and how to navigate it to be effective in either.
Richard introduced me to William Bridges’ Transitions where he talks about three stages of change:
- Leave behind
- Getting ready
- The new beginning
My desire for Richard to endorse Stage 0 – denial, was quickly extinguished. I like the idea of a three-point plan though. I’m a big fan of lists and an advocate of the power of three. I’m on board. Hang on though, now I’ve got my plan, what do I do next? How do I move through those stages?
Unsurprisingly Richard had some guidance on that too:
Tip 1: take time to work through them in order: “it’s a nightmare waiting to erupt if we fail to do Stage 1 and Stage 2 because we’re desperate to get to Stage 3.”
Tip 2: understand what it is you’re feeling. Here, he redirected me to a recent Harvard Business Review interview with David Kessler, co-author of On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief through the Five Stages of Loss before writing Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. Of course, a large part of our journey is a personal one, but before you travel your unique path, it’s useful to have some context. To me, the communal grief Kessler explains sounds both plausible and familiar: “The loss of normalcy; the fear of economic toll; the loss of connection. This is hitting us and we’re grieving. Collectively. We are not used to this kind of collective grief in the air.”
Don’t know about you, but this insight has helped me so far. I then hit another obstacle though. On the one hand, I need to take the time and space recommended to grieve – or translated into terms I can work with – to regroup with myself. On the other hand, the world is changing at a rate of knots and in ways far beyond my control. How do I keep up?
Back to Richard: “Change will be more rapid, but must make space for grief. We are learning so much more about neuroplasticity as time goes on: the way the brain can stretch and adapt. It will never then return to its original form. Across our planet right now, the same is happening. We are in a hiatus which is jolting people to stretch and adapt their habits and routines.”
Pause a second. This ‘hiatus’ isn’t sounding so bad anymore. In fact, it sounds like exactly what those of us in the creative industry (and many other industries besides) yearn for – a chance to think outside the box, innovate and embrace the unknown. I can definitely get comfortable with that kind of uncomfortable.
Richard continued: “When we move through this phase, we will have new norms. Vibrant life energy will exist that can architect and grow a more sustainable planet. Those people who see the possibility will thrive from this place. For those eager to fit old habits into new systems, it will be a bumpy ride.”
‘Those people who see possibility’; I definitely want to be one of those people! Looked at in this way, what we’re being confronted with is an opportunity not a threat, we just need to embrace it, and, do my favourite thing – communicate with each other. As Richard reminded me: “With so much fear, people need grounding in information regardless of whether it is positive or negative.”
Having been guided this far, I can share a few ways I intend to embark upon my three-stage journey:
- Leave behind the past by using my fear to my advantage. I’ve been at WeAreFearless long enough to learn that fear can be a source of power if we use it to fuel conscious action.
- Get ready for the future by communicating with my community. Whether family, friends, colleagues or associates, we need to maintain open, honest and regular dialogue to find solutions – together.
- Find the new beginning by learning from those who’ve gone before. Have you ever noticed that grandparents seem to know everything (and that parents know more than you admit, at least to their faces)? There’s a whole generation currently labelled as ‘vulnerable’ who have lived through times of greater disruption than those we’re experiencing and forged on. When it comes to my new beginning I know where I’m going first for advice!
All set then. I’m sure at some point I’ll get thrown off track, but I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by plenty of people who will get me going again and I’ll happily to do the same for them. I’ll also be taking care not to be tempted by shortcuts, like (to round off with another new piece of jargon I’ve learnt) virtue signalling. Simply put, seeking praise “quick wins” without the substance to have earnt the credit sought, or piggybacking on a crisis to get attention for your brand or organisation without underpinning your part in the story with meaningful action. Maybe I could coin my own term: crisis-response-washing. Pretty sure that’ll catch on any day now…
As always, stay safe (at home), take care and keep in touch. Tweet me @ktraxton or drop me a LinkedIn message if you have ideas for a topic you’d like me to cover in the coming weeks. Many thanks to Richard Tyler for all contributions: https://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtylerbtfi/
Katie Traxton is an ESA Board Director and Managing Partner at WeAreFearless, ESA’s Pan-Europe Sponsorship Agency of the Year.