From the Reese Witherspoon Challenge to literally any conversation you stumble upon on TV, radio, online, WhatsApp, or in your living room, there’s one common theme – 2020 hasn’t been the year we expected. Dissection, prediction and an emotion that oscillates between disgruntlement and malaise rank highly as burning topics – and that’s amongst those of us who count ourselves lucky. Needless to say, most people I listen to, read about or speak to aren’t relishing this sliding doors version of reality half as much as the one they had neatly mapped out for themselves before coronavirus or lockdown were whatever the opposite of a twinkle in your eye is.
A Guardian article entitled the psychological toll of coronavirus in Britain published in late July and based on data taken from research and interpreted in consultation with charities drew out five key areas of psychological strain: grief, worry and anxiety, relationships, loneliness and mental health. The study also showed a majority impact with 59% of adult respondents reporting that their mental health had got worse during lockdown. This statistic is concerning but not surprising. We are living in a constant state of unknown where all roads seem to perpetuate uncertainty. We face existences led permanently in, or in-and-out of, isolation or quarantine, with a lack of guaranteed routine either old or new. Even the concept of emerging from lockdown to a world we recognise but where we now think twice before boarding public transport or greeting a friend with a welcoming hug gives pause.
I’ve spent the last five months finding ways to convince myself that there’s plenty to like about this new world. Top of the list would have to be more time with family including home-cooked meals, a chance to read that ever-growing pile of neglected page-turners and getting to wear yoga pants for work every day. My greatest challenge? The repetition. Freedom is limited and, I don’t know about anyone else, but a feeling keeps sneaking up on me that I can honestly say I hadn’t felt in years until now… boredom. At six years old we had it drummed into us by our schoolteacher that we should never use the word ‘bored’. I feel like even she would make an exception at this point.
Wallowing isn’t really my style though (unless there’s an extremely good film, plenty of sweet snacks and a self-appointed excellent reason – then I will make tactical exceptions). So as I face into a week’s leave – my first of total staycation since embarking on working life – I needed to jumpstart my flat battery and get motivated. Motivation wasn’t far away because said lull coincided with a catch up with Jamaican swimmer Michael Gunning who shared some of his story with me past and present. Listening to Michael, I quickly remembered a lesson I’d started to let tarnish recently – life can be what you make of it.
I joined a swimming club when I was 7 years old, worked my way through the different squads and made my first UK county team (Kent) when I was 10. To be honest, I’ve never really suffered from discrimination on my journey as a competitive swimmer. It’s been really pleasant in that respect, as I’ve never been unfairly penalised.
Throughout my junior swimming career, back when I represented Team GB, I was told all the time that ‘black people can’t swim’ and to ‘choose a sport on the athletic pitch’, but I just ignored all those comments. I knew that not many people would be able to understand why I arrived every day at school smelling of chlorine having been training since 5am, but it’s something I got used to and I loved being different from everyone else.
During my time representing Team Jamaica, I still feel like I’m stereotyped as an athlete because no-one would ever suspect that a black athlete from Jamaica can swim. With this being said, I strive to prove everyone wrong and love breaking the stereotypes around the world!
In a world where labelling can be so corrosive, it’s refreshing to hear that Michael has both chosen to and been able to break down barriers even as a young athlete. I know how fortunate I am. I also know that life can throw some real curve balls, but amidst the veritable kaleidoscope of good, bad and incomprehensible, there’s always hope. Hope can bring us together, creating a unity able to cut through bitterness, judgement and discrimination. With hope we can make the world a better place, a place where we all have room to breathe and we all have the space to be ourselves as long as we aren’t intentionally hurting anyone else in the process.
One major turning point of lockdown 2020 has been the worldwide solidarity to challenge racism, inequality and injustice within our society. I couldn’t bring myself to watch all the heart-breaking videos online, but it really made me see how important it is to share our story with one another (the good and the bad), as sharing is educating.
Across many media articles about me throughout the years, I’ve often been described as the ‘black gay athlete’ and I often wonder whether I’ll always be referred to as that label, or if people will ever see me as the hardworking Jamaican athlete, who is a lovable, caring, funny guy that represents his country on the highest level. I hope this year will teach us all not to label in this way.
One of the many special things about Michael Gunning is the grace, determination and serenity he maintains in the face of both the unknown and on occasion the unpleasant. Michael is inspiring because the direction his dreams give him overpowers any ignorance, negativity and uncertainty he faces. He knows who he is, he knows what’s important to him and he isn’t about to give it up just because naysayers – or a global pandemic – get in his way.
It’s been incredibly hard being an athlete in 2020, first through lockdown, and now with ongoing coronavirus risks. I know all athletes around the world have had their training environments turned upside down, but for swimmers it’s been especially tough as we haven’t had access to the water. I normally spend over 25 hours in the pool every week so to go down to nothing has been very challenging mentally. Throughout lockdown I’ve loved trying new things and doing different training I’ve never tried before. I’ve done running, cycling and rowing, and when I got a routine together, I felt in a much better place.
My team and I got back in the water a few weeks ago and the environment is very different to anything we’ve ever experienced before. We all keep five metres apart in the water and have strict guidelines on entering and exiting the venue, but it’s great to be back in the water again, after nearly four months out. I’ve tried my hardest to isolate still from most people as this is the start of my Olympic Cycle again, so my health is of the upmost importance.
Michael’s inner strength is enviable, his dynamism too strong to be broken by narrow minds or pigeonholing. He confronts demons through self-confidence and a resolute will to chart his own course. There’s no fracas he enters into, he’s too busy quietly staying true to his own ambitions and achieving them one-by-one.
Never let anyone tell you it can’t be done. During my school years, people always used to say to me that black people don’t swim but I’ve managed to smash that stereotype to pieces by competing in two World Championships and breaking four Jamaican records. Of course, it’s always going to be daunting at the very beginning because the unknown is scary, but if you never try and live the best part of you, you’ll never be able to fully enjoy the sport. It’s down to us to break those stereotypes!
I’ve always known I’ve been different in regards to my sexuality. Growing up in a dominantly heterosexual society, I learned to supress my thoughts and feelings but no one forced me to. It was something I felt like I had to do. Personally, I’d like to think that my race or sexuality didn’t affect any opportunities that came my way, either sporting or with sponsorship, but because I’m so passionate and driven, I’d have given my upmost effort to change unfair decisions if they had been made.
For most people, including Michael and me, 2020 hasn’t been a walk in the park before social distancing. Equally, I know that what motivates me won’t be a cure-all. However, my intention is to share a ray of hope, because I believe that it’s hanging on to the hope, finding it even when it’s buried deep down and using it to power you that gets you through. Whether it’s individuals and communities I’ve watched transform through everyday heroism since the pandemic started, or the lessons I learn from listening to Michael and other friends, I see hope everywhere and I believe it’s the key to coping with the ongoing uncertainty we face, and not just surviving but thriving.
You can follow Michael Gunning on Twitter or Instagram @MichaelGunning1
Katie Traxton is an ESA Board Director and Chief Communications Officer at Formula E. She was previously Managing Partner at WeAreFearless, ESA’s Pan-Europe Sponsorship Agency of the Year | @Ktraxton